Royal Duncannon Navy

SUBJECT: Homeland Security, File No.06-59-0023
The press recently asked the Admiral of the Duncannon Navy if he was prepared to protect the people.
His response was “As far as I know, I don't know.”
We should feel safe now.
Entering Perry County

Condition Orange in Pennsylvania!!!
Royal Duncannon Navy on the Susquehanna River!



















Condition Orange in Pennsylvania!!!
Royal Duncannon Navy


The Admiral
Headquarters.
Preparation for a vital mission.
Torpedoed.


Beach landing.
Cap'n "Old Crow" Jen

The Off Season


Silent running.
Cap'n "Madman" Jim
Marysville Navy
Lieutenant Junior Grade Joe
We do run into pirates occasionally but if they give us a good portion of rum we let them go.


If we get too much rum we start to look like this!


Sometimes pirates try to hide under their boats. It doesn’t fool us. When we catch them doing this we confiscate all their rum!

Uh Oh!! Here comes another. We will have lots of rum tonight!
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Rum Dum!
If we run into the Neoprene Pirate we will confiscate all of his Fuzzy Navels!
He obviously doesn’t carry any rum.
We may even remove his neoprene.
Some pirates do get by us.
This one crept up on us underwater and just popped up almost next to us!
We believe this was Cap’n NoBeard Blue Bottom but it was hard to tell due to the dark glasses.
It was too late to give chase. We got no rum that day!
We almost cried like a neoprene pirate.

You must be very careful not to anger the Pirate Queen!!
If you do this will happen to you!
Punishment!


This is where we put suspicious persons! Then they are easy to torture.

We get lots of them to torture.


Sometimes we run into drunken unruly indians!!
The indians often cause traffic jams.
This requires severe torturing!
We can't even show pictures of what we did to those indians.
It would make too many people sick.
One of the indians did survive!!!!

We have the presidential seal of approval for all our torture.




We must keep vigilant! It could be the Doyle hotel next!




The cowardly Neoprene Pirate who calls himself Buzzard Beak has rarely been seen.
He is usually hiding.
We would very much like to catch him and relieve him of all his Fuzzy Navels because he brags and lies too much.
We hope to put a halt to this but he is very hard to find.
It is believed he looks something like this.
Without his Fuzzy Navels for courage to brag I think he will quietly disappear.

Neoprene Pirate messages

We know that Buzzard Beak (The Neoprene Pirate) is a real wimp!
He is always in hiding and we have never even seen a picture of him.
We did, however, find a more accurate likeness of him and it is true he is about as scary
as a bowl of applesauce but he boasts so much we would like to catch him and give him a good spanking!

This is the flag he flies - or gets flies on.

He dropped one of his Shirley Temple bottles.

This is one of the Neoprene Pirate's tougher swabbies!


Some pirates don't even have boats.
This guy just paddles along on his butt.
That is what happens if a pirate fails to pillage enough.
We felt so sorry for him we didn't even stop him.
2007 was a good year for recruitment. We have four new recruits. This looks like a very good crop! We need the larger force to protect the Duncannon town security. There is an oil shortage which means we will need to invade Texas to secure our oil! We have sent the new recruits there to begin the invasion in the interests of Town Security! We could use a few more recruits in 2008. We may even accept pirates for this invasion.
Some pirates are just too ugly!
We stay away from them for fear it may be catching.
Could this be the Neoprene Pirate?
Ensign "Bad Dude" Larry
I did run into some landlubbin' pirates in the bar down by the town wharf one night but I single handedly drank them both out of their cache of rum and then I won their boat in a poker game. I think they had to hitchhike to leave town. Poor excuses for pirates if you ask me. Larry
Ensign "Crazy" Mike

Avast yea swabbies, for there be sea monsters out there!
This one put up a bit of a fight, but we got him in the end!
The sea monsters normally don't bother me but in the winter it is another story.
I don't like running into these! We have no one for winter patrole from Duncannon to Dauphin. The Duncannon navy needs some recruits for winter patrole from Duncannon to Dauphin. It is hard to find volunteers for this. Nobody with any sense wants to go out in the winter! The prirates may be free to rape and pillage at will if we can't find someone.
We had a volunteer but the monster ate him.
During the winter most of us are tied up with land duty anyway.
Occasionally you do have to go down with the ship!
But you better hope the Hat man don't get you!
Pirates sometimes come out in the winter!
We promptly disarm them and kick their butts!
It seems Nazis have been spotted in the Duncannon area.
They leave their toilet paper lying around different parts of the woods.
It looks like we need a Duncannon Army to root them out!
The Navy doesn’t do this type of work.
We now have this torture gate so if you find any suspected Nazis we can squeeze all
the information out of them and put a stop to this Nazi invasion!
We are also trying to get possession of this torture chair. It would be a big help.


















Kayak

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